


I'll Tell You Later

by brunetta6, Mamabatz



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Drunken Confessions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Love Confessions, Mild Smut, all the emotions, and she was like YES PLEASE GIVE ME THE FEELS, i watched ep107 and attacked my favorite rp partner, i'm love them i can't help it, like HEY HELP ME SATIATE A MIGHTY NEED, so i dragged my bff into it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:28:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26188750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brunetta6/pseuds/brunetta6, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mamabatz/pseuds/Mamabatz
Summary: Caleb needs a little liquid courage to ask Jester to dance... so much so that he can't even speak Common while he's blurting everything that comes to mind.(But Jester remembers that clerics can cast Tongues.)
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 2
Kudos: 105





	I'll Tell You Later

As Vilya disappeared beyond the tree, Caleb watched from a distance. The romantic revelry that flourished all around had left him behind. The wizard felt something like dissociation settle over him, almost comforting in its bittersweet familiarity.

They -- he had his friends -- had come  _ so far. _

From a little brewing town, to the circus, to great cities. Through tragedy and heartache. Adrenaline and misunderstandings, blades scythed through the flesh of monsters and men alike. Their friendship had been forged through fire and blood. From a simple, hesitant hello… to this point. An island swept up in celebration, hundreds and  _ hundreds  _ of miles from where he was born on a dirty sheep farm. And he  _ should  _ have been ecstatic. For months, this had been Jester’s goal. Here they were. And he had helped! He had created that gate! He had created the lights and the illusions! That was fucking  _ advanced  _ magic! Unless someone dispelled it, the things -- the illusions and the structures he had brought into existence, for her -- would last  _ forever. _ _ He  _ had come so far, in his goals and his knowledge. She had told him he was  _ a great artist. _ In this festival, Caleb had left a mark on the world. A good mark. One that brought  _ joy  _ to the people he cared the most about.

So why did he feel _ so fucking empty. _

Caleb settled in at the bar, raised his finger for a shot, and laid a whole gold piece on the counter. “Keep it coming,” he murmured. He tossed back the shot.

**~*~**

Jester laughed happily as she spun and twisted through the crowds. There was music and laughter and drinks aplenty. She was full of good food and fruit juice and running high on the joy around her.

Suddenly, there was a tap on her shoulder.

She giggled and turned to see who it was… and, much to her surprise, found Caleb standing there. He was flushed, his red hair tousled and a lopsided, giddy smile on his face. “Darf ich um diesen Tanz bitten?” he slurred, offering her a hand.

He tried to bow and almost fell over. “Ah!  _ Scheiße…” _

Jester giggled, grabbing his hands so he didn't fall over. "Cayleeeeb, have you been drinking agaaaain~?"

“Mir geht es gut…” He hiccuped, holding on tight to her hands. A flicker of a smile crossed his face. “Es gut! Sind Sie glücklich?”

He swung their hands back and forth drunkenly. “Magst du alles was ich gemacht habe...?” he asked hopefully, his glazed, intense blue eyes wandering wistfully over her face.

She giggled, blushing a bit. He was being awfully adorable like this, giving her all of this sudden focus and attention. And she always  _ did  _ like how he sounded when he spoke Zemnian. Even if she had no clue what he was saying.

But she could guess, and that was always a fun game~!

"Dance?" She guesses hopefully, swinging his hands in return. "You wanna dance with me~?"

“Tanzen!” Caleb exclaimed, beaming. 

There was a shakiness to his hands, fingers and knees almost trembling as she led him deeper into the dance floor. Surrounded by people, the music fainter and the laughter louder than it had ever been; someone shoved against Caleb, and he nearly fell against her. 

Caleb whirled and shoved back, swearing in Zemnian. “Du Bastard! Ich werde dir deinen dummen Kopf abreißen…”

He trailed off, staggering.

"Sorry~!" She called to the stranger, scooping Caleb up in her arms and swinging him around to the other side of her. "He is veeeeery drunk~"

The other dancer waved it off without a care, clearly just as drunk as her friend. She shook her head and gave Caleb a fond look while wrapping his arms around her waist. "You are all left feet tonight, silly. You drank waaaaay too much~"

“Ich musste trinken…” Caleb mumbled. He hiccuped, looking a little sad. “Ich war leer. Ich fühle mich nicht mehr so leer…”

He swallowed down something -- like a lump in his throat -- and straightened up, suddenly smiling _ blindingly.  _ “Ich war gern eine große Eidechse mit dir! Es hat Spaß gemacht!”

He poised his hands in front of his chest like tiny arms. “Raaaaaaaaaaaa…” he slurred. He giggled to himself and covered his bright red face.

Jester laughed brightly, her confusion at his strange words fading to delight. "Oh! Oh yes, the fight! That was very fun, we were both soooo dumb, but big~!"

She did a mimicking little pose, wiggling her arms back at him. "Raaaa~!"

Jester swatted him playfully with her tail before bursting into giggles. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, swaying with him rather than dancing. "Mm, this is nice. I like this~"

The music almost seemed to fade away… vanishing into silence…

She felt Caleb’s hands gently ease up around her waist. He had rested his hands on her before, a long time ago… but he had never tenderly rubbed his palms up to her back and back down like this. His shaky, slender fingers traced patterns into her dress…

“Du bist wunderschön…” Caleb whispered.

There was something heavy in his voice as he said that. A word that sounded so much like  _ ‘wonderful.’ _

She blushed again, brows furrowed. She wished she knew what he was saying. He didn't talk much to begin with and now that he was, he was too drunk to speak common.

"What are you saying…?" She whispered, tightening her arms around him. "I wish I could understand you. It sounds nice, whatever you're saying…"

Caleb shook his head soundlessly, his eyes cast down. “Nein…”

Jester gazed up at him. Their shoes shifted in the packed, damp dirt, shuffling slowly to a stop, even as the world continued to move on around them.

She hesitated, then she frowned and backed away from him just a bit, leaning down to scoop up a handful of clay from the ground. She molded it in her hands as Caleb spoke aloud. His eyes were wandering everywhere, barely registering that she was there even as he rambled. “Ich sollte das nicht tun…” he whispered, rubbing his face in distress. “W-Wir sollten nicht zusammen tanzen. Sie sollten mit Beau oder Fjord oder sonst jemandem tanzen…! Nicht  _ ich…” _

_ Beau? Fjord? ‘Tanzen’ was ‘dance,’ I think-- what is he talking about? _

She had prayed to the Traveler earlier that week. She had asked him about the spell Caleb had cast on her, and lo and behold, the Traveler told her just how to do it! She hadn’t had a reason to, though… until now. 

Jester looked up from the tiny, rudimentary clay tower that she had just molded, touched three points in front of her own face, and cast Tongues on herself.

Caleb didn’t even notice. He was still speaking Zemnian --  _ flawless Zemnian _ \-- and immediately it was strange to hear him speaking without an accent, but then she heard what he was saying.

_ “I’m scared…”  _ Caleb confessed, his voice hoarse and weak.  _ “You have so much power over me and _ **_I hate it…”_ **

_ Huh…? _

Jester blinked at him, eyes wide, but she tried not to give away that she understood what he was saying. Not yet, anyway. She didn't want him to stop  _ talking.  _ She wanted to  _ understand. _

She opened and closed her mouth a few times but chose not to talk. She couldn't risk speaking Zemnian by accident.

A cracked smile spread across Caleb’s lips. He took her by the shoulders, but his grip was gentle. So gentle, it was as if she was made of glass or precious gems.  _ “Sapphire…”  _ he was whispering.  _ “You are not a sapphire. You are the  _ **_stars._ ** _ You breathed life into a night that I was lost in. You never meant to. You never asked for me. All you have ever been is yourself, and yet my heart of hearts h-has been… resurrected! I never thought I would be capable of such a feeling again, and yet… here you are…” _

Without warning, he cupped her plush, freckled cheeks, Caleb’s intense blue eyes sweet and so terribly soft. Vulnerable. He looked  _ vulnerable. “I have loved every moment,”  _ he whispered to her.  _ “Of helping you. I have loved your face. Your smile. Your eyes, your praise. That you  _ **_like_ ** _ what I’ve  _ **_done._ ** _ I know would do absolutely  _ **_anything_ ** _ for you without a second thought, except for  _ **_one fucking thing,_ ** _ and that  _ **_terrifies me…!”_ **

"C-Cayleb…?" Jester stuttered, cheeks pink and eyes wide.

_ “If given a choice between my friends... and never casting magic again... would I give up my spellbook? Not just for a day, but  _ **_forever?_ ** _ It was my very first love, before Astrid. Before... whatever the hell this was. It is what I am good at. It is where my fucking value is. Giving up magic…?! The fact that I  _ **_hesitate_ ** _ is more telling than anything!” _

Caleb felt the familiar, cruel burn of humiliation and shame under his skin.  _ “If I ever lost my magic... then what was it all for? All that work? All those horrors? Did it all mean nothing?  _ **_Should_ ** _ my life’s work mean nothing?” _

His stomach twisted. He felt like throwing up.  _ “...Does it mean  _ **_nothing?_ ** _ A-All… All those hours. The pages. The obsession and the learning. The cruelty. Blood. Gold. So much  _ **_gold,_ ** _ spent in the pursuit of power and influence. Crystals, gems, feathers, precious metals, exotic materials. Fire and cinders and the stench of burning flesh... all for what? I-I have struggled for years to learn the intricacies of my magic. Polymorph! Just fucking  _ **_Polymorph!_ ** _ The absurd amount of eventualities I have to calculate for, in the same instant as I cast it... and to Jester, it is a 'cool spell to have.' She has the blessing of an archfey. What do I have? A fucking body count. How am I ever supposed to compare to that? And not just as a spellcrafter! As a goddamn _ **_being--!”_ **

"Cayleb… Cayleb!  _ Cayleb!" _

His name drew him up short, eyes wide on Jester's face as she grasped his hands. " _... I can hear you." _

_ “...What? Of course you can hear me,”  _ Caleb mumbled drunkenly. He let her go, rubbing at his eyes.  _ “I’m talking to you, aren’t I…?” _

Jester sighed softly before thanking his hands and leading him away from the other dancers. She pulled him towards a more secluded location, where it was a bit quieter, private.

_ "How long have you been holding all that in, Caleb?" _ She asked softly, eyes sad.  _ "I wish you had told me how you were feeling, you know I'm not good with words sometimes. Sometimes I don't think and I say things that are hurtful like… like the money thing and now magic and…" _

Jester whined softly, letting go of his hands.  _ "I know I'm lucky and fortunate and… and I know I've been a bit spoiled and I'm… I'm sorry. I never meant to undermine you or your magic. Maybe it was harder to obtain but you are so much  _ **_stronger_ ** _ than me Caleb… don't compare us, because when it comes to magic, you are so many leagues ahead of me, don't let me be a reason you doubt that…" _

Caleb shook his head. “ _ I am  _ **_not_ ** _ stronger than Jester….” _

She glared at him a little.  _ "And if someone ever tries to make you choose between us and your magic, you punch them. Don't  _ **_ever_ ** _ give up magic for us. There is  _ **_always_ ** _ a third option… okay? So don't talk like that…" _

_ “My punches aaaaare very ineffectual,”  _ Caleb mumbled, slurring the words and looking around. Tears were bright in his eyes, but they didn’t fall.  _ “Look at this!” _

He let out a broken-hearted laugh and spread his hands, showing her the festival.  _ “We  _ **_made_ ** _ all this… with magic! And determination!  _ **_Her_ ** _ determination…” _

Did he not even realize he was talking about her to  _ her? _ Oh Caleb…

_ "I couldn't have done this without any of you,"  _ she murmured.  _ "Especially you. Without you, there would be no magic illusions or lights. Without you there would be no Traveler-con because no one would remember us. Without you there would be no  _ **_me,_ ** _ you've saved my life so many times! You've saved my  _ **_belief_ ** _! I was ready to give up so many times but you were there to help me. You can see me, Caleb. You see me like now else does. With you, I don't  _ **_have_ ** _ to smile… I  _ **_want_ ** _ to." _

Caleb let out a deep, low, mournful sound, burying his face in his hands.  _ “But she doesn’t know…”  _ he whispered.  _ “She doesn’t. She doesn’t know… and if she knew, she— I don’t know if she would want to be my friend anymore…” _

_ “What?” _

_ “You won’t want to be my friend anymore… And I— I-I don’t want you to not be my friend anymore…”  _ Caleb pleaded, his throat nearly closing up around the harsh, choked words. His tears spilled over, dripping down his jaw and off his chin.  _ “I-I want to keep your smile in my life. Please… even i-if— if I can never hold you the way I wish I could… Be with Fjord, be with him, he’s  _ **_better_ ** _ than me! I don’t care— n-no, I do care who you’re with…! Just… don’t ever vanish from my life… I would miss you… I would miss your stars… I-I don’t want to be  _ **_lost_ ** _ again…!” _

Jester knew she could be naive about love, but she wasn't  _ that  _ oblivious. Maybe the most she knew was from books, but every now and then a book would get something right. There was one book that was her favorite,  _ Gone with the Windmere…  _ it had had the most beautiful,  _ painful _ love confession…

And right now, as Caleb confessed all of this to her, she realized what he was  _ really  _ confessing.

He loved her. He  _ really  _ loved her. Not like the books, not like the stories, but something raw and painful and  _ true. _

_ "Caleb…"  _ she whispered, reaching up to cup his face and wipe his tears.  _ "I'm not going anywhere… not ever." _

Caleb shook his head.  _ “No…”  _ he mumbled.  _ “She’s— You’re not…” _

_ "Not without you,"  _ she promised.  _ "I'm not going anywhere without you, Caleb. I don't want to leave, so I won't unless you send me away… okay?" _

Caleb kissed her.

It was clumsy. He almost  _ missed.  _ But he wrapped his arms around her, bumped his lips against hers, and hung off of her like an exhausted cat.

_ “I’m tired now…”  _ he groaned unhappily.  _ “I need another shot. Where’s the bar?” _

_ "N-no no no, no more shots for you,"  _ she stuttered, eyes round after the almost kiss.  _ "Let's go um… uh…" _

She glanced at the party, relieved to see it was winding down. Nodding to herself, she strengthened her grip and lead him away.

_ "Let's rest,"  _ she finally said.  _ "Let's go to our beds and rest, okay? No more drinks and dancing. But maybe some cuddles, if you're good~" _

Caleb made another unhappy sound.  _ “I have to go to the bathrooooooom…” _

_ "Oh goodness, okay, tiiiiime to go~" _

Jester led Caleb away from the crowds back towards their sleeping area. She steered him into the woods and told him to take care of himself while she got their beds set up. After that she pulled him to the bedrolls and tucked him in before crawling in beside him.

_ "Sleep well Caleb,"  _ she murmured, holding him tight as he drifted off.

“Mmmm…”

**~*~**

The next morning dawned bright and painful for one Caleb Widogast. He groaned and rolled to his side, eyes squeezed shut and hands clutching his head. He had a  _ pounding _ headache and he was trying desperately not to puke.

"Cayleb?"

"Mmmnngghhh…" he grumbled in response, trying to bury his face further into the softness beneath him. As if he could somehow hide from the pain. The softness beneath him just chuckled.

"I told you that you had drank too much silly~"

A cool hand rested against the back of his neck and suddenly all the pain eased up. He blinked, then sighed as every muscle slowly relaxed. It took a moment for him to just breathe and recover…

And to realize that there was a soft  _ body  _ underneath him.

He sat up, eyes wide, and looked into the amused face of one Jester Lavorre.

"Good morning~"

Caleb stared at her, his twisting stomach sinking like a rock.

He looked down between them. They were still dressed.  _ Oh thank the gods. _

“W-What, um…” Caleb tried to say, “w-what… happened? I’m sorry, I— did I wander into the wrong cot? That is… embarrassing.”

"Oh, no, I set up our bedrolls together last night."

"Wh-what?"

She smiled outwardly, but internally she was struggling. Should she tell him about what happened last night…?

Maybe not just yet.

"You got verrrrrry drunk," she chirped. "You danced with me and it was lots of fun but then we got tired so I set up our cots together because we were snuggling and it was nice~"

_...Oh. _

Caleb laid back down, eyes flickering across the ceiling. His brain was spinning a thousand miles an hour. “I hope I didn’t interrupt anything,” he murmured. “I did drink a lot last night…”

"Naw, nothing like thaaaaat," she told him with a smile. "It was fun dancing with you, but I  _ was  _ getting tired with all the 'priestess' stuff, so you gave me a good excuse to call it an early night."

She beamed at him. "And you were very warm and snuggly~!"

_ Goddamn it.  _ **_Gods damn me._ **

Caleb tried to keep himself from panicking. It was only more suspicious if he  _ reacted  _ like  _ this!  _ “Did it get cold last night?” he asked, trying to sit up as casually as possible, even when his internal organs were vibrating with anxiety. What had he said last night?! He had thought the drinks would have helped!

"A little bit," she agreed, frowning slightly. He didn't remember. He didn't remember  _ any _ of it.

Maybe she shouldn't say anything. He had been really drunk, he might not have meant everything he said it did. She  _ wanted  _ to talk to him, but he seemed so panicked and flighty…

She would just scare him off. She would need to wait for a better time.

"Are you hungry?" She asked, cutting off her own train of thought. "Want to get some breakfast with me? It's rather early, I'm not sure any of the others are up yet."

“No, no… I’ll be fine. I have rations… and there’s still dinosaur meat,” Caleb murmured. “I—“

He trailed off, reconsidering himself… then he just nodded. “Ja. I would, um… I would like that.”

The smile that had slowly started to fade on Jester's face came back full force. "Oh! Good, okay~!"

She pulled herself out of the cot and offered a hand to Caleb, helping him up. "Let's go make breakfast~!"

Caleb hesitated… but he finally sighed deeply and took her hand, letting her help him up. He could be selfish. Just for now. Maybe she would get distracted later, and he could slip away, back into his routine.

Jester allowed him to do no such thing.

**~*~**

The day went on, and Caleb couldn’t help but notice that she always found an excuse to stick with him, no matter what they were doing.  She asked him to go fishing with her and fetch fresh water, or she asked him to escort her around the campsites and help her make sure everyone was safe and comfortable.

She asked him to walk her here and there, to help her with lunch and dinner, to keep her company while she worked. Jester was just always there. She even followed him around claiming she was bored and wanted to keep  _ him  _ company while he studied or read. Caleb found himself rarely, if ever, alone that day.

"Cayleeeeeb~!" Jester called, running up to him after only five minutes of being apart. "Let's go swimming~!"

Caleb glanced up from his book, flushing pink. “I— alright. But… why? And don’t we not have any swimsuits?”

"Like that's stopped us before," she teased, already taking his hand and dragging him away. "Come oooon, I found a really really cool place~!"

"Shouldn't we get the others--?"

"Noooo, it's a secret! Just for you and me~!"

She pulled him down the beach and then into the jungle a bit, not allowing him to protest much more than that. They were hiking for about ten minutes when she pulled him past some rocks, drawing him towards the sound of a waterfall.

"Isn't it pretty?" She asked as she pulled him into the clearing, revealing a private little lagoon where the waterfall fed into the sea.

Caleb’s eyes flickered to the back of her head. “...Yes. It’s… it’s beautiful.”

His brows furrowed. “I— Jester.”

“Hmm~?”

Caleb licked his dry lips, hesitant. “You’re acting… odd.”

"What? No I'm not!"

She wasn't meeting his eyes as she said that, walking down towards the water, trying to shrug off what he said. "Don't be silly, Cayleb~!"

Fear curled in his gut.

Had he said something?

“... Okay…” he murmured. He hesitated for a long moment, then he took his spellbook out of its holster. He opened it up to Dispel Magic… and whispered to himself, tossing the spell her way.

There was nothing to dispel.

Somehow, that made him more nervous.

"Cayleb, you can't swim fully clothed!" She chastised him playfully, already unlacing her dress. "The water is safe, I checked it earlier~!"

"When? You've been around me all day."

She hesitated at that for a moment before sighing in defeat. "Okaaaay, so maybe I found it  _ yesterday _ . I just didn't find a good time till now to show you!"

And that wasn't a lie, she  _ had  _ wanted to show Caleb. She didn't know till now exactly why, but she thought it had something to do with how the blue of the water made her think of his eyes. But then he had been drunk and saying all that stuff… but they were here now!

Those intense blue eyes flickered to her face, as if he intended to argue… then Caleb chewed on the inside of his cheek and started to unbuckle his belt. Maybe a swim would do him good. Besides, when could he ever say no to Jester…?

The tiniest sigh of relief left her. Oh, good, he wasn't leaving. She was so scared he would leave…!

Jester pulled off her last article of clothing and went running to the edge of the lagoon. "Wooo~!"

The splash she made almost reached Caleb with its intensity. She resurfaced, hair sticking to her face as she beamed at him. "Come on, it's super nice~!"

Caleb shed his clothing and armor, folding it neatly into a pile on the shore. He collected his books, deposited them into his Vault of Amber, and carefully made his way down to the water.

He slipped beneath the surface — like warm bath water — and was sorely tempted to scream underwater.

After a moment, he finally resurfaced and shook his sopping red hair out of his eyes. “Good temperature,” he mumbled. “It is lovely…”

"I told you sooooo~!" She giggled, swimming circles around him happily. She floated for a bit on her back, staring up at the sun as she tried to collect her thoughts.

Originally she did just want to bring him here because it was nice. But now that she had made it difficult for him to run off, she wondered if this was a good time to talk. He already suspected something, but Jester honestly wasn't sure if revealing what happened last night was a  _ good  _ thing. He had been raw and open and saying things he never would have while in his right mind. So he had said things he  _ didn't  _ want her to know.

She wasn't sure what to do…

Caleb’s belly sunk.

“Jester,” he murmured, his voice soft and raw. “What did I say last night.”

She glanced over at him, a lie already forming on her lips. But at the look on his face she just sighed.

"... You didn't say anything bad, Cayleb," she told him softly, her smile a little sad. "You really didn't, so don't feel bad. You were actually just venting a little and… praising us a lot? Especially me and… and it made me realize something."

She straightened up in the water, turning to lock eyes with him. "You really  _ don't _ know how special and important you are to us, do you…?"

Caleb didn’t know how to respond to that.

“...I am trying my best,” he told her quietly. “I do not mean to upset anyone. Last night, I felt… off. I didn’t mean to… say anything about it.”

"Cayleb, that makes it  _ worse, _ " she whispered. "We are supposed to be friends. You tell me all the time that I can come talk to you about my troubles, about my mama and the Traveler. I've cried on your shoulder more than I can count! And if you felt like you couldn't do the same with me, then…"

She bowed her head, looking crestfallen. "Then I am a  _ terrible  _ friend…"

Caleb’s head snapped up, his expression utterly distraught.  _ “No!”  _ he insisted, his accent thick with distress as he unconsciously swam closer.  _ “No,  _ Jester. No… you a-are— you are an incredible friend. A  _ good friend.  _ I can just… I can handle my problems. I can. I swear to you that I can. Never—  _ Please _ never say such things about yourself ever again.”

"But you were  _ sad _ last night, Cayleb," she countered, eyes wet with unshed tears. "You were sad and unhappy and you thought you had to drink your problems away rather than come talk to any of us! I would never have known if you hadn't decided you wanted to dance with me…"

She rubbed her eyes, sniffling softly. "I'm glad you think I'm special. I'm really glad that you appreciate me so much and think so highly of me but… but I don't want you thinking that at the expense of  _ yourself.  _ You are so smart and clever and… and you keep us safe! You take care of us! We would never have gotten this far without you Cayleb!"

She met his eyes, imploring him to listen to her. "You are  _ important… _ at least to me…"

“I-I… I appreciate that…” Caleb whispered. “I  _ know _ that… I just—“

He chewed on his answer, trying to find the right words. “I… don’t know how to voice my worries without apologizing. Or… scaring you off…”

"You aren't going to scare me off, Cayleb," she scolded softly. "I told you this last night, but I'll say it again. You're stuck with me. You will never go anywhere that I won't follow, okay? Never…"

Caleb shook his head. “It’s not about  _ going.  _ It’s about where I’ve  _ been…  _ what I am capable of as a man…”

"We are all capable of things, Cayleb," she murmured. "But I understand. I just wish you would talk to us more. It's not okay to let yourself hurt in silence…"

He was quiet for what felt like a long time… but finally, he nodded.

For about ten minutes, they floated there in silence, gazing up at the tropical summer sky.

“...I’ve been having nightmares,” Caleb whispered. “About my childhood home.”

"I'm sorry," she whispered back, reaching out to take his hand and give it a little squeeze of reassurance. "Do you want to talk about it? It's okay if you don't, but I know how…  _ bad  _ some nightmares can be."

Caleb chuckled softly. “What are your nightmares like…?”

"Well, sometimes they can be silly, you know?" She told him with a strained smile. "Monsters and such. But… but sometimes I'll have dreams where I wake up and I'm all alone. You all aren't there, I can't find mama, the Traveler won't answer me. Or worse, I will find you all, but you don't remember me…"

Jester sighed, looking away. "I think the worst dreams are the ones where my doubt wins, you know? Where I hear my inner thoughts come from your voices. Those tend to happen after really bad days…"

Caleb’s expression fell. “Is there anything I can do to help you?”

"You already help a lot, Cayleb," she told him with a fond smile. "I don't have as many nightmares as I used to. They're really rare now actually. The fact that you told me and proved to me that you will always be there… it helped a lot."

“...I’m glad,” he whispered. “I am glad you don’t have them very often…”

"... Do you?" She asked softly. "Do you have those nightmares often?"

Caleb nodded, his pale eyes distant.  She squeezed his hand, her smile sad but reassuring.

"Anything I can do to help?"

“... I don’t know.”

Caleb ducked his head under the swell of a wave, smoothing his hands over his long red hair. The ocean wrapped around him with warm, caressing fingers, suffocating and reassuring at the same time.

Finally, he popped up through the surface. Salt water clung to his lashes and his parted lips. He exhaled softly… then finally opened his eyes, savoring the sting. “Modify my memory, maybe?” he mumbled, offering a dead, unhappy joke.

She blinked at him with wide eyes, looking a bit horrified at the suggestion. But she swallowed past the tight lump in her throat and swam closer.

"Cayleb, I would do anything for you. Even that, if you asked me to…"

Jester reached out and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, hugging him. "I care about you so,  _ so  _ much…"

Caleb’s heart sunk into his gut, pounding against his lower intestine. His hands trembled beneath the water, hesitating to touch her sweet blue skin…

“...I don’t want to hurt you…” he whispered.

"You won't," she whispered back. "It's okay, Cayleb…"

Jester pulled back and pressed her forehead to his. She met his eyes, her own wet and full of so many different emotions. "We're allowed to take a little happiness for ourselves sometimes. I think we're allowed to be selfish…"

She drew closer, lips barely half an inch away from his. "Can I be selfish, Cayleb…?"

Caleb was trembling.  _ “Always…”  _ he breathed.

Jester made a soft, wounded little sound as she finally pressed her entire body against his and sealed their lips together. Her hands found their way into his hair, pulled him closer as she desperately kissed him with everything she had.

Bit by bit, their kiss pulled them underwater. Caleb took one big breath... and surrendered to the current.

**~*~**

The waves crashed in the distance, washing and falling against the rocks.

Caleb — covered in sand and salt water and  _ Jester  _ — grunted softly as he came inside her. “A-Ah…  _ Hah…” _

"Mmmnn…" Jester whined, spasming around him as she reached her own orgasm. She collapsed on top of him, panting weakly.

A giggle wiggled up out of her throat, bringing a smile to Caleb’s lips. "What?"

"W-we… hehe, we are a  _ mess,"  _ she chuckled, looking up at him through her lashes. "I've got sand in places I'm pretty sure it should never be in~"

She mewled and stretched, keeping herself seated on his softening cock as best she could. She spread her thighs around his hips and relaxed, making a content little sound. "Mmmm…"

Caleb allowed his hands to smooth up her thighs, silently enraptured by the contrast of his tanned, scarred skin against her gorgeous, midnight blue curves. It was during times like these that he wished he had a stronger constitution.

“I—“

Jester gazed down at him softly, sweetly, as she gently rubbed her clit where he could see… Encouraging him to watch the spot where he disappeared deep into her core.

She felt his shaft twitch immediately back to life.

Caleb, stunned speechless, looked up at her face.

“...I-I’ll tell you later.”

“Yes you  _ will,”  _ Jester purred, sighing in ecstasy and starting to bounce again.


End file.
